Day 61: Enough is Never Enough

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Day 61. March 01, 2012

Ah, the fist of March. Isn’t it wonderful?

Today happened to also be my day for spring term registration. March is the bridge between winter and spring, so it felt right for my journey out of the lifeless winter to be renewed. I honestly didn’t think I would see this day, but I won’t go into that complicated back story.

Many different emotions swirled about me – oddly most of them negative. I had wanted this day to be here so badly, to be looking ahead and see some sort of light over the horizon. And yet I found myself annoyed, frustrated, and angry. I had my heart set on taking on a heavy class load next term to make up for my past, but I was denied my last class due to a prerequisite that I honestly find pointless for an upper-division drawing class. But this isn’t a post about complaining about the universities system. There are too many meaningless rants already in existence.

This is about my uncharacteristic behavior of feeling entirely unsatisfied. Who was I too be feeling so down now that my day had come? Not being able to get in ultimately allowed for more down-time in my mornings, which most college students would kill for. And yet I was annoyed by the fact that I have so much free time. It wasn’t enough that I had a new schedule, enough that I got into the courses for my major, and had a pretty wonderful grid. I don’t feel this way – ever. Bah. What a terrible feeling. I only hope that I’ll shake it off soon and move on with my life as I usually do almost instantly with small bumps in the road.

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