Day 131: Whispers

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Day 131. May 10, 2012

Some days pass by in whispers. The world may not be quiet, never slowing down, but within me something changes. I usually feel as if I don’t have time to breathe, constantly running at full speed – always planning my next move, my next project. Remember a few days back when lab was cancelled? That was a good evening – a moment to breathe. Tonight however, when I could have used that lab time to work at home, I had to sit through an hour long presentation given by a new professor joining the digital arts department next year. I love artist talks. I really do. It’s great to hear about the mental process behind the art. But it has to be engaging or it just gets lost. And unfortunately…he was not engaging. I wanted to be interested. I tried to find the beauty in his raw, time lapse video pieces. But on this particular day, I just wasn’t interested.

It pains me to say it, but I forgot what today was. 

I walked into that lecture hall where my lab’s instructor waved me over to sign the attendance sheet. And as the words “Is today really the 10th already?” casually flowed from my lips it hit me. While I filled in the date next to my initials in my section of the page it struck me. Like an chilled bucket of water dousing me from head to toe I was overcome with such grief. My heart sunk, burdened with immeasurable guilt as I walked to an empty seat.  I had forgotten what today was. It was six o’clock in the evening on the anniversary of my grandmother’s passing and I hadn’t thought of her at all. Of all the days that I do think of her & talk to her why had I neglected to today.

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