Day 184: I’ll Be Seeing You

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Day 184. July 2, 2012

Today would have been grandma’s 76th birthday. I cannot bake her a cute little cupcake the way I do for others, but a simple cupcake would not do justice for a wonderful woman like her. I attempted to make a bouquet for her from flowers around our house – let’s just say I will probably never work at a florist arranging flowers. Luckily mama stepped in to give me some guidance. Guidance being complete direction in what flowers to cut, how long to cut them, and arranging them in a beautiful pattern.

I never really know what to do at a cemetery, when returning to see a loved one years after they have passed. How long do you spend there? Are you reverent and quiet or can you talk? I imagine that if I went alone I would talk to her as if it were any other weekend visit. I imagine that’s what grandpa would like to do if he were alone visiting her.

I teared up a little when I started to think about the good times we shared. So I stopped thinking about them. You made me a baker, grandma. And I still make your syrup. I just knit a couple washcloths, remember when you tried to teach me all those years ago? I listen to Sinatra and often think of when you and grandpa danced, but  I was too shy to join in. Hah. I believe you are the reason I am obsessed with everything vintage now. That dressing a certain way and changing my hair style somehow brings me closer to you. I don’t know. But I do know that I love you. And oh how I miss you. I’ll be seeing you.

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