Day 121. April 30, 2012
First and foremost: I love the figure in the background to the right just at the edge of my shot staring at me. I left them in when editing just so that I could point them out. Now on with our regularly scheduled program…
I don’t care for large swarms of people. I get anxious very easily and paranoid that everyone is watching me. Odd that I go to a state university, right? Constantly surrounded by crowds. But the only way to get over a fear – or at least tolerate or lessen a fear – is to constantly expose yourself to it.
I remember when I was in high school and my best friend and I would go to the mall. I was completely terrified of escalators. The thought of standing on one made me nauseous instantly – just thinking about the open space all around me and at any time someone could push me off the side and watch me fall to my death. She put up with it for a while but finally called me out on it. Telling me that I was completely irrational in my fear and that I needed to get over it. At first I was really hurt. And angry with her. She didn’t understand my terror, I couldn’t simply get over it with a snap of my fingers or tap of my ruby slippers.
But slowly I began to take a chance and get on one. For a few years I could only go up them, then I could go down but only if I looked straight ahead stared at my feet. She was right. And she did me a favor in being honest with me, that’s what real friends do.
I still don’t like crowds, but I don’t freak myself out nearly as often anymore.
Day 120. April 29, 2012
Two birds in one week, people. This has got to be a sign that I need to pursue my morbid curiosity with animals.
Driving down from our sunrise hike yesterday we passed this heartbreaking scene. A poor turkey had been struck in the darkness of night and his turkey friends had gathered around him to protect and shelter him. It was rather touching. And intriguing.
Day 119. April 28, 2012
Waking up at four in the morning is wonderful. The world is still mostly asleep, the streets are deserted. Hiking Spencer’s Butte in the morning is also wonderful. Though there wasn’t much of a sunrise this morning. Or peace. A group of girls hiked together in hopes of spending some time with God in nature, a break from school and the noise of Eugene. What we found when we climbed to the top was a group of hungover frat boys who had to of hiked the butte at some point in the middle of the night. They tried to be entertaining…but failed in my book.
Nonetheless. It was still a breath-taking view and a wonderful workout to kick-start my Saturday. Above all, it was a privilege to spend time with some truly wonderful young women who have a lot to offer the world.
Day 118. April 27, 2012
Okay, not really a mountain adventure. Jered and I were out at his house looking through his closet for forgotten treasures when he pulled out his snowboarding gear. Of course I grabbed them all, pulled them on clumsily, and demanded he photograph me. He then proceeded to try and persuade me to someday venture out and embrace the snow with him. I laughed. He frowned. It was a heartbreaking scene. Truly. Perhaps a few years in Chicago will change my mind. And some pocket hand warmers. But for now I’ll just play dress-up and make ridiculous faces.
Day 117. April 26, 2012
The colors of this photo are soothing. The soft blue of the sky, the mixed green values making up individual blades of grass dripping with dew. The mixed, diluted gray rocks. I think if I ever have a studio or an office or some kind of personal work space I shall base it off of this color family. What better inspiration than nature?
Day 116. April 25, 2012
Dead animals are attractive to me. You can stop reading my blogs all together if you’d like. I understand. But they do. Like a moth to a flame. I don’t touch them or feel any need to interact with them at all. I simply like looking at them. And photographing them.
I remember I walked past this possum every day on my way to work last summer for three or four weeks, every day wanting to stop and take a photo of it but never having the courage to do so in such a public setting.
This morning I saw this bird, so fragile and small, outside of the workout room in my friend’s apartment building. She was the only other person with me so I pulled out my phone and began taking pictures. She laughed at me and called me weird, naturally. And I remember seeing a girl walking past down below staring at me in a photo, perhaps she thought I was taking photos of her. I deleted that photo. She bothered me.
I think if it weren’t so strange I’d like to make a book, a collection of dead animal photos. Morbid, I know. But I cannot help it! Something tells me Jered wouldn’t let me put it on the coffee table when we have guests over…maybe when I’m old and completely crazy.
Day 115. April 24, 2012
There’s a two our gap in my schedule a couple of times a week. It’s long enough that I can accomplish a bit of homework and short enough that walking home is a waste of time. So I make my way to the AAA Library, usually to write these blog posts. Like I am right now. I just snapped this photo on my way over here. Hah. I love this library, which I feel like I’ve talked about before…
It’s warm enough that I can wear my hilarious purple jeans. I got them for like four bucks in Idaho ages ago at a TJ Maxx. They are quite thin and I almost always wear tights underneath so that I have some insulation. But it’s just about spring now & they sneak out of my dresser from time to time to say hello. I’m wearing them today, can you see? They’re not very purple-y in my photo. Oh well.