Day 31: Uncertainty

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Day 31. January 31, 2012

I painted today. For myself. I don’t have enough digits to count back to the last time I picked up a brush and let the canvas talk. It’s a work in progress, nothing special to show for. But maybe with time it will grow to be something worth keeping. Projects from my hand are painted over more than they’re hung on display. Unless it is something to be proud of, there is no use in keeping it. If it feels necessary, I take photos to remember them by. Otherwise I store the canvases away until the mood strikes again.

I’m not a painter. I’m not really much of anything. But I have seven years and dozens of art classes in my past to prove that I am capable of producing mediocre art. I could be – if I put all of my energy into it. But I don’t. Because I know there are better artists out there. I don’t hold a candle to their talent. Continue reading

Day 30: Not Much of Anything

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Day 30. January 30, 2012

I’m angry, disappointed, stressed out, frustrated, every single word in the dictionary whose definition explains this feeling of such…disgust I’m feeling tonight. Disgust with myself & with the world I am captive. I don’t want to write. I don’t want to do anything productive – it all seems so worthless. None of it can solve the crisis crashing down, suffocating me, dead weight upon my chest.

I have nothing more to say. Today was – draining.

The only positive is that my legs are dead from my workout. But no matter the amount of endorphins released into my system, this feeling cannot be suppressed.

The End. Farewell. Good riddance.

Day 29: Taste the Rainbow

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Day 29. January 29, 2012

No, we’re not talking about Skittles here. No artificial colors, flavors, or sugar. We’re talking about real flavor, health benefits, and enjoyment. Tea is my favorite beverage after water. What could be better? There are endless herb combinations to try, countless ailment solutions passed down through generations, and it’s simply delicious. Continue reading

Day 27: Slight Exhilaration

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Day 27. January 27, 2012.

Converse are probably my favorite casual shoe. They’re simple, can be tailored to personal preference, and look good with just about anything. I love them. And I love that my boyfriend wears them.

I’ve never owned a pair of Converse. Back in high school I owned a pair of Payless knock-offs, but they fell apart the first time I washed them, so that relationship didn’t last long. I’ve never wanted to dish out the money to buy them simply because I know my taste has changed drastically as I’ve aged. My enthusiasm for them still burns strongly after all these years, so I warmly welcome that to be a sign. Continue reading

Day 26: By Accident

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Day 26. January 26, 2012

I don’t really know how I got here – it just kind of happened.

Last spring I kept the corrugated cardboard sleeve from my empty coffee cup with the intention to re-use it on the random occasions when I actually bought hot beverages from coffee shops. It’s a simple act, really. A little step anyone can take to reduce waste. But those purchases happened so rarely that each time I forgot about the sleeve in my pocketbook and picked up a new one. Once, I believe, have I ever actually remembered to re-use one of the various sleeves I have in my purse. Continue reading

Day 25: Even in the Darkness

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Day 25. January 25, 2012

My roommate and I were heading out for an evening workout. Naturally, I flipped the porch light on before switching off the living room lamp. Those few seconds of darkness just before the door opens always catch me off guard. My body fights to keep balance, my pupils pulse, I stumble for the knob. The door swings open and…darkness greets us. Continue reading